I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Randomize
