i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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