Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Randomize
