my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Man, jail baloney is awful.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
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