I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
