I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
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