Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
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