i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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