he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Randomize
