Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
