Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
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