So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
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