I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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