yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
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