haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
