So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
