ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
