Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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