You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
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