Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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