I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize