I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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