ya dads aren't the best wingmen
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Randomize
