I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
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