i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Randomize
