Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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