she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I think a kid would responsible me up
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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