I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
i think i have herpe
just one?
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Randomize
