Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Randomize
