His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
