my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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