tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Randomize
