Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
