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so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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