dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize