Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
you would pick up someone in the library
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
