Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
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