just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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