I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
