We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
This is my gift to your gina
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
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