im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
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