so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
sarcasm needs its own font
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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