I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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