Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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