My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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