I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
