My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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