You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
i think i have two assholes
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
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