I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I just want nice things and good sex
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
