You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
