Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
