I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize