yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
We need to rekindle our bromance
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Randomize
