Sponge bath it is.
so that wasnt chicken after all
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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