My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
