so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
