STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
