I got chris browned last night
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
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