i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
