Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Randomize
