Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
