I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Randomize
