the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Randomize
