i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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