My brain says no but my pants say off.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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